Defensiveness is one of the behaviors that predict divorce with over 90% accuracy.
When you get defensive, you don’t feel dangerous — but to her, you become unsafe.
Here’s what defensiveness actually does:
Destroys connection — she feels unheard and unimportant.
Creates contempt — she stops believing you’ll ever change.
Shifts the power dynamic — you become her opponent, not her partner.
If she’s emotionally distant, shutting down, or quietly checking out — defensiveness is the first thing to fix.
This Is for You If:
- You’ve been told you’re defensive and don’t know how to stop.
- You’re tired of every talk turning into an argument.
- You want to respond like a man she respects — not react like one she fears.
- You’re ready to stop making things worse and start making things right.
Angela Avery, Men's Relationship Coach and Licensed Therapist
For over 11 years, I’ve helped men navigate the hardest seasons of marriage — infidelity, emotional shutdown, lost connection, and the painful in-between of “Should I stay or go?”
I don’t sugarcoat and I don’t blame.
I teach men how to lead their comeback with emotional integrity, calm strength, and clarity — even when their wife is already pulling away.